Cow ****ing.

Is it just me, or does every year seem to get more and more important than the last? Maybe I’m just getting older, but it seems like more stuff is happening now than it was a few years ago.

I dunno.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a corner and pretend like the rest of the world is nothing but a humongous elephant that’s rabid and is trying to eat me. Then I can justify apathy and laziness, and I can just safely go fetal and pretend like I really am apathetic and lazy.

Hot damn, check out the Kdufhas on that chick!

Hi, my name is Benjamin. What’s going on.

“Are math stars really that popular in Iran? Are Iranians going to start chanting ‘Math to America?’”

Why does religion make everyone so crazy? And why does it spark so much hatred? Doesn’t that kind of completely defeat the purpose? I really don’t get it. I think there’s a very clear order to the universe that says, be nice and help others and everything will turn out okay for you.

I mean, like, I think that’s like the whole point of life. Well, the whole point of life is to make babies. But I think the point of human life is just to make a positive impact on somebody else. And the bigger the impact you are able to make, the happier you end up being. I think Gandhi was a pretty happy guy, right? And Jesus?

I bet Bob Saget is one happy dude. And you know why? Because he positively affected millions of people’s lives, with his wholesome values and his goat-loving and his working with Simon.

I bet George Lucas is pretty happy.

I mean, I don’t think that anyone is truly capable if figuring out what is right and wrong. Like, Hitler really thought that he was doing the world a favor by killing all the Jews.

But I think that there’s a universal Gaia hypothesis type thing. The Gaia hypothesis is that the Earth is a living organism that, just like all other living organisms, wants to maintain homeostasis, and will take action to make sure it achieves that. Something the dinosaurs did pissed off the Earth. Bam, it let itself get hit by a meteor.

Like that.

I think that the universe also wants nothing but homeostasis.

I think everything in the universe wants nothing but homeostasis. Genetically and metaphorically.

No one wants to have to worry about all the crap in the world.

I think that the Universe has a very firm stance against everything that’s wrong inside of it. And when the time comes to pass, everything that’s wrong in the universe will be gone, and everything that’s right will continue.

And religion comes in as a way to explain this, right?

I love Craig Ferguson’s book Between the Bridge and the River. The book is pretty much all about religion, but it’s about the ideas of religion being the important part. No one really cares that so and so gave birth to so and so and lived 900 years. What matters is the universal message that you need to love others and help them to be happy and a successful person.

That’s all that matters in life, I think. I think the happiest person on the Earth is the one who is truly selfless and who doesn’t ever want to just crawl away into a whole from this rabid elephant of a messed up world.

The happiest person is not apathetic.

The happiest person probably doesn’t exist.

Filed under Miscellaneous | Comment (0)